Better to Love and Lost than to pretend to be in love

I recently was broken up with, and it sucks.

It's actually not that recent haha it's been over 2 weeks but I'm pathetically holding on, hoping it'll end up working out but I guess that's not gonna happen.

What have we learned Matt about Long Distance Relationships?!? (besides avoid them)

Confidence and Control are King

No matter what, I don't care at what stage in your relationship you're in, you need to be in control of yourself as hard as it is, and be Confident. This does not have to mean lying, but it does mean that you need to project and image of everything is going to be okay, because if you don't women will start freaking out and you won't like what happens next.

TIPS!!!

1) Don't Panic, ever. Be Donald Drapper

2) Talk to a friend about your problems, not her, not her friends, your friends, guy friends

3) Whenever you talk to her whether it be over skype or whatever, always open with a smile.
     -First Impressions dictate the flow of the converstation

4) Put this into perspective. Ask questions like " Are things going to be like this forever?" and don't be a drama queen about it. Yeah it sucks, we get it, but you're not the 1st person to have done it and it can work if done correctly


 This tip got an extra space because this is the one that got me;

5) Relax with the facebook, if you don't have anything to do and you're just on facebook all the time waiting for her she will resent herself and then you. She doesn't want to feel like you need her when she can't give herself to you. 

WHAT HAPPENED!!!!

I was going out with the most beautiful girl I've ever met, her name is Liora. She came to my College on a foreign exchange student program with her school and mine. 

Liora was engaged when we met, but that ended as we went out. Things weren't going well with them and I think, honestly, that had a huge impact on what happened with us.

Liora loves life, and she lives life fast, going out every night partying with her friends, enjoying herself, having fun, being this amazing. She had me hooked because she was what I aspire to be, totally outgoing, fearless, she just does the Liora thing and everyone else goes with her and if not then that's that. A leader.

Liora and I went out for about a month and a half and nobody has ever pushed me so far outside my comfort zone in my life, but she did it and it was awesome. She definitely left a mark on me.

HOWEVER

Liora is not without her faults. She has commitment issues and she is not great a communicating when things don't go her way, or communicating what needs to be said in any event. I'd probably have more to say in the improvement category if I hadn't had the "impervious to wrong" goggles on for the last 3 months of my life.


Things were going great, or at least as well as things like this can go. She lived at home with her mother in Paris, which is any young girls dream except it's what she's known all her life so it's NBD to her. For about 2 weeks we talked and talked and loved each others company. It seemed that things were going to work out (though that's usually how such things go) and then she went to Prague, her next big adventure. This isn't like your normal trip where you go for like a week, stay at a hotel, see a couple things and then leave. No, that's not her style. She went to Prague for a month and stayed in an apartment with like 10 other people.


For a month, little to no word from Liora.


She partied every night, visited the city. Lived life the Liora way. 


And what happened to I during all of these shenanigans? At my apartment, alone, in Potsdam New York. What did I do all day? Sit on my computer and do my job (I'm helping to design a video game) and then sit on my computer and watch all 5 seasons of Lost along with way too many other movies.


Basically I was always available, and I would send her things on her facebook, little notes, really corny things that I thought anyone would appreciate, and she would never respond to them, never. 


After a while I ust got exhausted of it and had a break down. I sent her a messege saying I was going to drive home, I was totally bombed so this would have been a really bad thing, I just wanted something from her, a sign of life. Well, needless to say she started talking. DON'T DRIVE HOME, THIS IS NOT FUNNY.


Needless to say this is the moment when the Liora and Matt show hit the end of its limits.

WHERE AM I NOW????

Honestly it still sucks, I don't know I guess I'll have to keep you updated. Every day it's a struggle not to grovel back to her I mean I thought I loved this girl. I wasn't ready for church bells (or in her case temple bells because she was Jewish, do they have bells?) but I definitely thought we both thought we had found something special, and I certainly wasn't ready to give up on it. It just sucks when you're at one place and you think the other person is with you, but when you turn around you find nothing and the rug get's cut out from under you. 

C'est La Vie as the french say!




 

Torture may possibly be legal/encouraged

Many people who have gone through college know that it's not any sort of easy. It's a struggle, I don't care if you are a liberal arts major who studies "Advanced Basket Weaving techniques" or an Electrical Engineeer. This shit is tough.

Why?

Because we rise to the situation we are placed in. It's a basic survival technique, and to those who think that whatever major they are in is too tough to go on and they must drop out or switch, let me give you some food for thought.

Your ancestors, at some point in history, came from a time where they had to adapt to survive and nobody was going to help them do it. They had to get food, and provide for their families, or else you just wouldn't exist. This was a time where people learned through necessity and conditioning to collect food, build fire, all that stuff.

I think that this school of thought can be translated into school too. How many times have you thought, "I can't do this, this is impossible?" Too many times, it happens to the best of us. Now here's a secret that they don't want you to know, but I will tell you.

Your future bosses, after your first job, will not care what you got in High School or in College. It's just for your first job.

BUT WHY

Cause employers wanna see how high your pain threshold is. They wanna know if you are going to crack under the pressure or if you are going to be able to take whatever they give you, big or small, and weather the storm.

Think about it this way, if you were hiring people would you go for the guy who's confidence level was so low that he switched out of "law" to "culinary" at the first sign of trouble?

No!

They want the guy who see's this daunting wave hurtling toward him, towering stories above, and looks to the side like "Are you serious?!" and then just says after a few short seconds of deliberation " eh fuck it", grabs onto something, and rides it out like a boss.

Not the guy using his girlfriend as a shield, hoping that she'll protect him from this dooms-day tsunami as he sucks his thumb in the fetal position.

College is the time in a person's life where he decideds how serious he's going to be taken for the rest of his life, not by his peers, or his family, but by himself. If he knuckles under and gives into defeat because he thinks that that is an option. He is basically setting himself up for that for the rest of his life. Subconciously he'll always have that to fall back on whenever things go wrong. Like a reverse crutch.

Q:Why did my wife leave me?
Guy who met challenge: Cause she was an idiot, I'm going to move on and make my life work
Guy who gave up: Cause I suck at everything I try

Try? Did you really try?

If you've ever played sports, or seen any sort of sports movie you're probably familiar with the phrase
" At any time, it's the guy in the fight that's willing to die that is going to win that fight"
Drive can compensate for ability in a huge way.

So when you think about college, don't just think about it as an oppertunity to explore what field of study you want to be in, think of it as an oppertunity to be pushed, and to push yourself to expand your limits.

People's limit's are defined only by themselves.

If I want something, it is only a matter of how many times I am willing to try it, that dictates whether or not I will succeed.